My Dear, You Are Wrong: A Few Things About Africa Foreigners Should Know

“Africa is a country of ape-like men; they throw faeces in your face and spit at you when you are sighted. People walk on the streets naked and there is no electricity or potable water. Diseases abound and fester; local herbalists with their charms and juju are the go-to healers. Necromancy and witchcraft is prevalent; the women leave their houses at night and go hunting for heads to kill. There are no roads and what measly footpaths, there are, are overrun with crisscrossing streams of urine and faeces. If your alacrity is still incomplete, cannibalism is a common practice amongst these black monkeys who will feed off your flesh, while the blood is still fresh in the veins and even when it is worse than carrion, still they will enjoy the decayed flesh. Don’t come to this heinous place, where savagery is commonplace, for every moment spent in the midst of Africans is to become less of yourself and more of these barbarians.”

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The problem with putting people in a box is, eventually, they’ll escape the box. They’ll multiply as they are wont to, pile on each other, elevating one above the other, till the seal of the box is broken and out they come, pouring over, stretching their limbs and turning around to tear the self-same box from which they came, to set free those trapped under. Today, we will, you and I, be tearing these boxes that we’ve built; the ones we’ve created for ourselves and the ones people created for us.

First, Africa is a country continent. It is the second largest and second most populated continent in the world. It has 54 sovereign countries, 9 territories and two de facto independent states. It is the only continent to stretch from the northern temperate to southern temperate zones. Since Africa is not a country, it doesn’t make sense to lump the people of several different countries together. A person’s nationality cannot be African. Each country has its peculiarities, which may be similar to those of neighbouring countries but as the distance between countries increases, their culture drastically differs. Referring to Africa as a country is akin to referring to Asia or Europe as a country; think on that.

Everyone in Africa is black. At this juncture, let’s play a game of “Did you know”. Did you know that Morocco, Algeria, Egypt and Tunisia are countries in North Africa? Yes, the pyramids and sphinx are in Africa! All these countries are home to a variety of races, but not exclusively blacks. Have you ever wanted to visit a sunny island, sipping mojitos and sunbathing in your summer swimsuit? Well here’s another one for you; did you know Spain’s Canary Islands, Portugal’s Madeira, and Seychelles are all African archipelagos? When you read or hear about these places, what comes to mind? Cool blue, serene waters with a clear, golden beach or a black woman covered in charms chanting incantations? So, No. Africa is not made up of voodoo and juju diviners.

Nor are countries in Africa filled to the brim with cannibals. There are remote pockets in Central Africa where cannibalism may still exist but these are extremely rare and these tribes are a remote, uncontacted people who are hidden away from the rest of the world, much like the Sentinelese people of Eastern India or the Pintupi people of Australia or the several other uncontacted peoples of the Americas.

There is no electricity and potable water in Africa. By now you know where this is going, South Africa, Ghana, Nigeria, and an endless list of African countries have these basic amenities. There is on-going work to improve infrastructure and elevate the standard of living up to par but that does not mean that when one comes to ‘Africa’, then one has come to live in a jungle, this is simply not true.

Let’s play another game, if you will.

Visualise the box. It’s a standard issue box, made out of cardboard; it opens by flaps on top. It is dull brown and not embellished in any way. On its side is a label that reads ‘African Clichés’.

Here, I’ve just put a box cutter in your hand; use it to tear out of this box.

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