City Hack: The Quick and Dirty One-day Guide for Calabar

*So, you’re in Calabar (by design or by accident), squinting at the sun and drinking in the sights. What to do, what to do. *

What to see
Head to Marina resort. Once in, grab a drink and take the obligatory selfies for the ‘gram by the large anchor sculpture at Tortuga Island bar (be sure to check out memorabilia reminiscent of the slave export era, at the slave museum, only a block or two away from the bar. You can also watch videos for a small fee).

If you’d much rather watch mainstream Hollywood than slave Nollywood, head over to the Filmhouse cinemas a few steps further ahead. They also show top Nollywood flicks, and Sharwama and popcorn cost 100 naira if you arrived before 12noon.  Chances are that you didn’t, so take the next best offer, movie viewing before 6pm for five hundred naira.

You can hitch a boat ride for two thousand naira at the port opposite the Atlantic bar, (it’s more fun with a large group of about fifteen and there are better discounts). Destinations include the renowned Tinapa lake resort, or Twins Island (not as glamorous, but hedonists will like it here). Boat ride to and from each destination should set you back by at least two hours.

Where to Eat

Upon return to the resort, with the sun having gone dinner an hour or two ago, tummies have probably also begun to rumble for dinner. Head back to Tortuga Island for some roasted fish and more drinks. Alternatively, fans of suya can leave the resort and head to Bogobiri corner for some sublime suya. Bogobiri houses Calabar’s Hausa or “Aboki” population, so you know they don’t play with their suya; top notch suya straight from the source.

If you’d rather have fine dining, the kind you can snap and upload to Instagram instead of actually eating it, freshen up and head to the E3 restaurant or Eris Executive Eatery, along the road leading to the eleven-eleven roundabout, just opposite the Mary Slessor road. It shares premises with one of the numerous UBA branches, so “you know say money no be problem”, to quote ace rapper Sarkodie. Just hit the A.T.M outside if you have problems “going Dutch”.

You really are spoilt for choice with dining options because across the street from E3 is a mega food chain called De-Choice. It’s the one with green and orange colors splashed everywhere with an open air bar for outdoorsy people, as well as the indoor section. They have sharwama worth trying and loads of fast food. Also, local cuisine like Afang and EdikanIkong can be found in pepper soup joints dotted around the city. Eat up.

Where to Club Hop

Most clubs are appendages to hotels in this city, so head over to the popular ones like Mayfair, Petesville and Pyramid. On Marian road a.k.a the nightlife heartbeat of the city, you also have Beverly Heels and Jasper 131. You can score some pineapple express (a type of health drink) if you know where to look.

Where to sleep

At the end of the day you just want a place to lay your head, I’d recommend the hotels in satellite town, if you are a late waker and don’t want to miss your flight. They are a five minute drive away from the airport. Try Lily’s Home. Good value for amount of money spent.