18 horrible hotel experiences in Nigeria

If you’re lucky, the worst problem you’ll have at a hotel will be relatively minor:
not enough pillows, a stuffy room or a less-than impressive view from your window.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way.

We culled from Nairaland 18 all-time worst hotel experiences around different hotels in Nigeria. They include spine-chilling tales of stays fraught with filth, unfriendly staff and unwanted room mates.
Read on to see the worst of the bunch — and don’t forget to share your worst hotel experience in the comments below!

I made it out of the hotel alive

I went for the just concluded NIS exam at osogbo. I budgeted N3000 for a hotel.
The beautiful environment attracted me and I asked the hotel manager to take me round the rooms in the hotel. If u see what I saw…the rooms of the hotel were hell cos of the heat in those rooms but the attendant convinced me
that there is an AC but I cannot turn ON the AC cos there was not light. I agreed with him but I never checked the bathroom before I paid.
When I took my bag in and I wanted to shower, na gobe com start oh, I saw one big rubber that contains one dirty water(maybe well water) I open the tap and there was no water. I checked the WC and behold there was no WC tank, with annoyance I went to the reception and called the manager to come and see their toilet. I asked for the WC tank, he told me the tank just spoilt and it has been taken for repair. I was just laughing.

Then I went out to buy my white shorts and to find something to eat.I returned to the hotel around 10pm to read the so called NIS past questions I downloaded. When I entered, I discovered the Generator could not carry TV and it was very difficult for it to carry ceiling fan. Come see as mosquitoes dey shout halleluyah in my room. The bathwater was hot like Eba water. I had no choice than to accept my fate for that night. I opened the window of the hotel throughout and the AC never functioned.

I risked my life from Lagos to Osogbo
I spent my money.
I wasted my time.
I was absent in my grandma funeral Ceremony.
I was beaten by sun.
I was beaten by The Immigration Officers.
I suffered for stampede but never died.
I never received the NIS exam sheet
I drank water throughout Saturday
Then I was beaten by rain.

*                                                                                        I left the hotel at souvenir*
I lodged into a hotel at Iyana Oba. When I got in, I asked for the cheapest room and the receptionist said it was N3,500 which I promptly paid. When he showed me the room I was almost crying. Bed was not laid. Bed sheet was dirty and different from pillow cases. But I didn’t mind because I was really pressed – so I just jumped into the toilet and scattered the place with my first attack. I made an attempt to flush but there was no water. Luckily the guy came to give me a roll of tissue so I told him there was no water and he then went out and got me a bucket of water.
Imagine, me wey get diarrhea + on top I dey travel since morning – what was one bucket of water supposed to do? Anyway I flushed d first round.
Barely 30 minutes later, round 2 came. I called the attention of the receptionist who I guess was tired of me and didn’t show up. Me sef just vex. Ontop 3,500?
I just scattered the whole place with my shit and left it for them.

*                                                                                       I found a used condom*
I checked into this room feeling very holy until when I went to the toilet. Lo and behold, I saw a used condom which was floating on the water in the toilet. I called the hotel management sharp sharp. How do they expect me to flush the mess caused by someone else?

*                                                                                             The bed collapsed*
I once checked into a hotel with my then chubby partner for a weekend getaway. As we were half way through a few rounds, the bed completely collapsed under her weight. I am sure that bed has gone through hard times in the hands of a few people before us. We kept mute all through and checked out like nothing happened so as not to get charged for damages.

*                                                                                         Bathwater could make eba*
I was taking my bath at a hotel and suddenly, water hot enough to make eba start pouring heavily on me.

*                                                                                             No water for my bath*
I lodged at a hotel in Port harcourt cos I had an examination the next day. I woke up very early in the morning to take my bath before rushing to the exam venue, only to find out that the shower and tap is not rushing. I went out to check the receptionist or any body, but couldn’t find any. I had to do Koskorima .

*                                                                                  Mosquitoes kept me up all night*

I was bitten by mosquitoes  in a hotel at Benin. I had to wake up in the middle of the night hunting for mosquitoes only to find out that the window net was torn.

*                                                                                                   We were robbed*
Checked into a hotel in Benin with my then girlfriend. Around 2am, armed robbers came to the hotel and ordered everybody out. It was like a movie scene. Some women/girls wearing only pants, some fully unclad, some on transparent nighties, some on towels, some men were naked, some only boxers etc. The robbers brought a bag and we began donating all our phones, watches,wallets, shoes,etc.
It was a sight to behold.
In the morning the owner of the hotel gave each person 10K and apologised.

*                                                                                          Wardrobe was a dumpsite*
I lodged in one hotel in kaduna. Later, I discovered the back of the wardrobe has been turned to a dumpsite and almost filled to capacity.

*                                                                                                Boring TV channels*
Checked into an hotel and the TV channels were Ghana owned except Supersport and African Magic.

*                                                                                                                No PHCN*
I checked into a hotel in Nsukka. After giving me the toiletries, they gave me two candle sticks with the excuse that their generator is bad.

*                                                                                              Under my bed was a dumpsite*
Dirtiest hotel I have ever stayed in.. I can’t believe I paid 20k to sleep in filth.
Something fell and rolled under the bed and when I bent to pick it, I saw condoms, dirts and chicken bones. It seemed like the person handling house keeping usually sweeps everything under the bed and walks away.

*                                                                                              Insects almost sacrificed me*
I once went to a small town where there were only one or two hotels in town. That day i was bitten like a sacrificial animal by all sorts of bugs on the mattress and in the environment.

*                                                                                                        My room was infested*
I paid N2,500 and was ushered into the room. Exhausted, I dropped my bag on the bed and proceeded to check out the bathroom/toilet. Immediately I opened the bathroom door I was overwhelmed by escaping mosquitoes in their millions.
I ran out of the room and called the attendant. He had to send someone to buy insecticide for me. Thought that was all until I went into the bathroom and saw a pond of water infected with ‘those small nematodes that bear a resemblance to snakes.

*                                                                                                    Hotel staff saw me naked*
I came out of a hotel bathroom in Warri to take a call from my telephone handset. I was standing completely unclad while discussing on phone when the door opened and three ladies and a man walked in; chatting excitedly before the lead lady noticed me and hurriedly shoved everybody back. They were the hotel employees on room inspection. Few minutes later I got a call from the hotel manager apologising for the incident. They were obviously more embarrassed than me.

*                                                                                              I had a rat as a room mate*
Went out with my host and returned to find the waste basket where I had dropped stuff I had just eaten turned upside down.
Knowing a rat had gained entrance, I searched for it and finally trapped it in the bathroom. Went out the whole night and came back to find out that the rat had escaped by eating out the entire bottom panel of the wooden door!
Na so I carry my bag check myself out of the hotel sharply, before the hungry rat go come chop my toes or something more valuable.

I hate those tiny imperial lather soaps they put in the bathrooms.

I got served a can of malt upside down.

Can you top these horror stories? Leave a comment below!