10 things only Nigerian travelers would understand

Traveling in Nigeria is one of the most delightful things about Africa and an experience that many foreign travelers always recall at meeting places and with friends and family, often shaking with mirth with tears running down their faces while they narrate to their disbelieving listeners. This is because, while traveling in the country can be hectic, in retrospect, it is always a hilarious and thrilling experience which however only those who have actually traveled in Nigeria are likely to understand or even believe. This post details some of the things only a Nigerian traveler would understand and because most travel in Nigeria is by road, a large portion of them would focus on road travel.

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Paying for load

Walk into a motor park garage and buy a ticket to any destination and you may as well go and board the bus and begin your journey. However, if you have more than a carryon bag, no matter how small it is, prepare to “pay for load”. At this point the tout or the driver of the vehicle would demand a sum of money dependant on his assessment of the size of the “load”, your desire to board his vehicle and the apparent weight of your purse. This figure can be anything from N50 – N500 ($2.50). Though it depends on how much the fare for the trip is. Nigerian travelers do not argue with the driver or park tout but simply negotiate on a suitable price which is then accepted with much smiles and backslapping.

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Sudden fare price changes

One week the cost of travel between Lagos and Aba may be N5000 ($25) and in the very next week, it would be up to N6000 ($30). When asked the drivers or park touts would summarily inform the traveler that the festive period was upon us all or that a rumour of a proposed hike in fuel price or scarcity loomed. The fare prices could change at any moment when traveling in Nigeria and for the most mundane real or imagined reasons. The Nigerian traveler knows how to negotiate with the drivers and touts on a more appreciable price for the benefit of all. Travelers unused to Nigeria would storm off in anger only to return and find the price has been inflated yet again to their chagrin.

Road hawkers at traffic jams

Wherever there is a traffic jam in Nigeria, seemingly appearing out of the cracks in the tarmac are street sellers and hawkers selling everything imaginable from fashion accessories and electronics to food, fruits and beverages. The road hawkers can always be found along the intercity and interstate roads hawking at selected locations where traffic slows due to a bad spot, bend in the road, police checkpoint or strategically placed tree branches lying across the road. Travelers unused to this may feel scared when these hawkers appear, however, they mean no harm usually and are simply trying to sell their wares. The hawkers do not require travelers to step down from the vehicles as the entire purchase can be handled through the window with the surefooted hawker running at top speed right beside the vehicle with the tray of good balanced on his or her head or shoulder all the way.

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No service

Once you drive out of town on a trip through Nigeria, chances are you immediately go out of cellular network range. First time travelers are confused by this and may keep restarting their cell phones and devices in the attempt to retrieve network access. Nigerian travelers know better. This is the part of the journey when the average Nigerian puts away their cell phone or device and either opens a newspaper or novel, plugs in a music player or audiobook and settles in for the long haul to the next town. Some other Nigerians travelling via public transport use this opportunity to get to know their fellow travelers and engage in loud and boisterous conversations and good-natured arguments for the length of the trip.

“Oga, happy weekend, bless us na”

This pidgin English phrase is usually spoken by the members of the police force to drivers of private vehicles travelling in Nigeria. This does not mean the police officer at the checkpoint assumes you are a priest of a high Order or religious leader, but simply he is asking you to give him a little “dash”. The dash given to the officer ensures speedy passage through the checkpoint. First time travelers are usually confused as to what this means, but the veterans smile and either jokingly reply “Bless you” without giving the officers anything or “dash” out some naira notes for the police officer and his cronies, whereupon smiles and jokes are passed all round and the driver is waved through.

Stopovers

If you are traveling a distance that would take longer than 2 hours in Nigeria, it is mandatory that you stopover at some point midway into the journey. Nigerians do not like being cooped up in place for too long and must take breaks on the way to stretch their legs and partake of the many delicacies served at such stopovers. Stopovers are usually along the route in towns midway between major cities or destinations. At a stopover there would be conveniences, fuel/gas stations, eateries, fruit stands, fashion accessories stands, and so on. The first time traveler in a hurry for an appointment would have to learn to be patient as time spent at a stopover is usually between 20 – 30 minutes.

Driving one-way

One-way driving is against the traffic rules in Nigeria, so it can be very surprising to a first time traveler to suddenly see drivers weaving into the opposite lane at top speeds. Most of Nigeria’s interstate roads are 6-lane highways, however because of the constant reconstruction and refurbishing going on on these roads, one side of the road (3 lanes) can often be blocked for renovation, forcing drivers to go on the other lane. Regular travelers are used to it and take the experience in stride.

Delayed flights

Delayed flights are not a strange phenomenon in Nigeria; in fact, they are accepted as the norm. Booking a flight in Nigeria often mandates the traveler to book a time that allows for delays. For example, if you want to attend a meeting in Lagos by 12 pm, you do not book the 7 am flight which is scheduled to arrive at 8:10 am. This is because the flight may be delayed such that it actually leaves at 12 pm causing you to be woefully late for your meeting. The seasoned Nigerian traveler books a flight for the previous day which accounts for all possible delays with a reasonably ‘Nigerian travel time’ margin of error.

“Oga na Lagos?”

At every airport in Nigeria, there are several people who serve as unofficial agents of different airline agencies, ‘assisting’ passengers and travelers with booking flights and making adjustments to their flight schedules. You can find them standing just outside the departures terminal asking in a refrain “Ogana Lagos?”, “Ogana Benin?”, “Ogana Port Harcourt?” etc. depending on the location of the airport. First time travelers maybe completely wary of these fellows – and rightfully so, as many of them are not licensed and could actually be conmen, but the veterans of the Nigerian routes know how to use these agents to get the most out of their flights.

Praying before a trip

Nigerians are a very superstitious people and believe in prayers before journeys. A first time traveler in a public vehicle in Nigeria would be surprised to see just before the journey, a strange fellow stand inside or by the side of the bus or car respectively and lead a prayer for safety and “journey mercies”. Seasoned travelers understand and often bless the prayer leader after the prayer with small sums of money.

So, there they are, ten things that Nigerian travelers understand. Are there any I missed out? Please add in the comments below.

By the way, you might want to check out this cool post on the beautiful port cities in Nigeria.