Naijasinglegirl: Confessions of a serial dogmeat eater

They say each and every one of us have our own dirty little secret(s). I guess its time to spill out mine. I have always been the adventurous type as far back as I can remember so it came as no surprise when I found myself eating dog meat.

My Initiation
My friend took me out for a special treat one sunday evening. We got to a little hut in the outskirts of Badagry.
Palmwine was served first. The aroma of meat from the men cooking was enticing…way better than beef. I sat at one corner salivating.
At last, our delicacy was ready.
I hungrily pounced on the strange looking meat. Big, fatty fleshy pomo. It was one throat orgasm after the other.
When I was done I popped the big question.
“Its Ram meat right?” I asked sheepishly with a toothpick in my palms.
“You wish.” He replied with a loud laugh.
“You just ate dog meat. Don’t you like it?”
I didn’t like it. I loved it. A chord had struck within my tummy. I had found a new obsession.

DogMeat Addict
In the weeks that flew past, the ritual got worse. We would go to Badagry at least three times a week and treat ourselves with several plates of dog meat.
I wanted dog meat in my noodles, fried rice, soups and stew.
My desperation had me googling where to get fresh dogmeat in Lagos.
If I had my way, I would have gone to slaughter houses to make inquires but what I craved is termed as barbaric in Yoruba land.
Besides that, my little secret was also a taboo in my home.
Fortunately for me, I received an invite from my aunt to spend my next holiday in Calabar.
My joy knew no bounds. Calabar of all places where the headquarters of dogmeat joints was situated.
I was dying of excitement.

Turning point
Second day of my stay in Calabar. I didn’t hesitate to locate a real 404 joint. The moment I got there, I ordered a calabash of palmwine (I had moved from amateur to pro) while I waited for the 1500 Naira worth of dog meat I ordered.
While I idled away, my eyes strayed across the building. That was when I saw them. Some sad looking dogs, helpless dogs bounded to a couple of stakes at one corner.
That sight revived my dead humanity. Dogs are known as man best friends and I had paid for their loyalty by eating them. My conscience began tormenting me.
I didn’t know when I walked to the counter, revoked my order and found my way back home.

Withdrawal Effects
The following night I was plagued with the strangest set of nightmares I have ever had.
Several puppies encircled me in my dream asking for their parents. I was literally in a dog court. One of them threatened this torture would go on until I find my way back to the joint and lead those dogs in a ‘dog jail break’.
Each time I attempted to plead with them that it was the work of the devil, they ‘wo wo wo’ me into keeping my filthy dog eating mouth shut.
The nightmares went unending for several days. My days were not spared either. I was haunted by ghost of dogs.
Everything around me tasted and smelt of dog meat including sliced bread and my perfume. I completely lost appetite.
At that point, I would have paid any amount of money to be free.

Redemption
The house adjacent to the one I lived in had a bingo. Bingos are those brown, local, razz dogs. Those sort of dogs that have been drinking akamu all their lives. Those sort of lazy dogs that will bark once and mouth etcetera when they see a thief. My neighbour’s dog even barked in Efik language. That was how razz he was. I had to look beyond its razzness and cater for it as my personal punishment for my sins of the past. I took a portion of every food I had to him. Occasionally, I gave him a pedigree treat. It was amazing how my journey to Calabar in the name of dogmeat took a different twist.

My aunt husband noticed my sudden love for dogs and gave me one of the best gifts I have ever received at the end of my holiday with them. An alstatian dog, one of the cutest puppy on earth. He also promised to send money every month an for the dog’s upkeep. I went back to Lagos with my baby as a changed person. My dog became my best friend, my confidant and my lover.
Up till this date, my co-partner in crime has not been able to figure out what changed me.
Am I alone on this? Yes? No?
Let’s hear yours…